


So Cold

by LazarusPitHotTub



Series: Snapshots [4]
Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: F/M, Love, Moving On, Present Tense, Their families too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-12
Updated: 2018-12-12
Packaged: 2019-09-16 19:36:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16960239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LazarusPitHotTub/pseuds/LazarusPitHotTub
Summary: Find me on tumblr @lazaruspithottub





	So Cold

Their whole adult lives, Tessa and Scott had been known as Canada’s sweethearts. When they won and when they lost. Even when she married, when she divorced. Even when he married, when he divorced.

 

Her blades dig into the ice aggressively as she gains speed. Her feet slip and slide under her and she’s breathing heavy quick bursts of vapour into the air. The boards rush towards her and there is no partner to protect her, she takes the full force of them, crashing hard.

She raises one hand to steady herself against the boards and she shakes.

She misses skating with him.

She misses the steady hand of a partner by her side, the best of their hearts as one. She misses when they were inseparable and unbeatable, but most of all she simply misses him.

 

She’d thought that skating (even without him) might be of comfort, her body would disagree.

 

They haven’t skated together in months, it feels like a lifetime. And, she hasn’t seen him since she found out. She could’ve, but she knows that that would be the end for her, that it would have been unbearable. Hell, she thinks that she would be sick if she had to see him smile at her one last time, but she goes anyway. She needs to learn to celebrate him, let him go.

 

She remembers the last time she’d tried to do that, his first wedding. She quite honestly has very little memories after the ceremony, only vague snippets of a speech here, a dance there; and the vision of him in _her_ arms. Tessa hates that that is the one clear memory she has of the evening, his first dance.

 

London is bright and sunny the day she leaves for Ilderton, she has been given one last chance to see him, thank him, love him before he moves on (again). Her makeup is pristine and her dress ironed, neat, and formal.

 

The small church is right off of the Main Street, where they would meet as children, she wonders if anyone planning actually remembered that or if the universe is just playing a twisted trick. Flowers, friends and family line the inside and the priest mingles with the guests. As she walks up the front steps and inside, her breathing becomes increasingly uneven, she wants to run in her not-so-kitten heels.

 

Cara spots her first and rushes over, placing one arm around her waist and guiding her to the front.

“Tessa! You’re here!”

She nods, heels clicking on the wood, and Cara takes her hand to lead her down between the pews.

“I’m so relived you are here. Now, Joe is going to do the first reading, then Charlie and Danny will do the second and third, then Alma will do a little something,” Cara says slowly. _How is she so calm on today of all days?_ Tessa wonders, agitated.

“And then you’ll speak last.” Tessa gulps and nods sharply. She’d do anything for him, even this, even bare her soul in front of all these people. “Okay.”

Cara wraps her arms around Tessa, rubbing her back softly.

“I know it’s hard for you, I’m sorry that you two never worked out.”

Tessa takes a deep and shaky breath, “So am I.”

 

Tessa sits in the front row with the Moirs and her mother, not letting go of Kate’s hand the whole time. Scott’s ex wife makes a point in the second row right behind her, lips pursed, staring down Tessa. She doesn’t understand why his ex would’ve been invited, but doesn’t really have time to think before the priest starts and Tessa checks out, the whole world blurring around her.

All of a sudden Alma is tapping her on the shoulder, tears escaping her eyes and pulling Tessa in close as she can, stepping down from the lectern. Alma is a comfort and yet so much like her son that it hurts.

“He was so lucky to have you in his life, thank you,” Scott’s mother whispers in her ear, arms wrapped firmly around the younger woman.

“And now to deliver the Eulogy, Scott’s partner, Tessa Virtue.”

Not skating partner. Not best friend. Partner. The old man is clearly confused and she honestly doesn’t blame him.

Tessa looks up and spots Jordan in the very back row through her blurring vision. ‘You can do this,’ her sister mouthes at her, gently rocking little not even week old Scott in her arms.

Tessa’s own voice sounds utterly foreign. It is about three tones too high, and her pacing changes erratically with every couple of words. The Tessa Virtue of old is unrecognisable in the woman standing in a little black dress behind the stand.

 

When she finishes, she wants to run again, but this time only to her son in Jordan’s arms.

 

In another universe she would have picked up his calls, they would have their happy ending.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on tumblr @lazaruspithottub


End file.
